


Pointed

by lyricwritesprose



Series: TARDIS Series [3]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen, Sixth Doctor Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 12:50:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11313759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyricwritesprose/pseuds/lyricwritesprose
Summary: Every now and then, her thief stops taking gentle hints.





	Pointed

**Author's Note:**

> As some of us more obsessive fans know, there was a brief time in the sixth Doctor's tenure when the TARDIS chameleon circuit was fixed. Nothing ever really came of it, and she was back to police box shape in no time, although there is a brief reference to her materializing as a pyramid during some adventure we never get to see. This is meant to connect to "Sexy Dresses," the story where I explore whether or not the police box shape was a random malfunction, but I think it stands on its own. All you really need to know is that in my headcanon, the TARDIS has Definite Opinions On Things.
> 
> Brit-picking and betaing by Persiflage.

She is not a being who moves in the same sense that linear creatures do, although flying beneath the crust of reality is arguably a more _real_ sort of movement than any of them get up to. She is also not a being trapped in linear time. Such things as patience and impatience are predicated on one second following the next; a TARDIS should never be able to experience either of them.

In this particular bit of time, however, she is well and truly fed up.

The problem, she thinks, is her thief's new chassis. The impatience and stubbornness and need to control have always _been_ there, of course, but something about his new self has brought them into a new and annoying alignment. And he has decided to "fix" her chameleon circuit.

She tries to tell him that she doesn't want it fixed. She tries to point out that there are far more interesting things to do outside. She suggests overthrowing a tyrant, or perhaps putting a string in the water and pretending that he wants to kill fish. It's hard to tell if he's oblivious to her mental nudges or ignoring them. She tries to distract him with intriguing and mysterious malfunctions, which usually makes him quite happy. It doesn't work.

After sparking his knuckles for the sixth time, she thinks, _fine._ And makes the relevant circuit accessible to him. Now she just needs something . . . pointed.

She finds it elsewhen in her travels, in a place of sunlight. Her thief in a different form, delighting to meet the architect of the structure. It is partially his fault that the capstone is missing, but she remembers it there anyway. From the ground up, stone by stone, she recreates the shell in perfect, molecular detail. It is slightly difficult to find a place to land, but she manages.

When her thief walks outside, he is taken aback, but also suitably impressed. "Yes . . . white limestone for the casing, of course . . . this is the original state, you see, and not the sadly reduced remnant that you would find in your time . . ."

"Doctor?"

"What is it, Peri?"

"It's a pyramid. The TARDIS materialized as a pyramid."

"How stupefyingly sagacious of you."

"The TARDIS materialized as a _very large_ pyramid. Actually, isn't this the Great Pyramid of Giza?"

"Oh, don't be absurd. It's merely a precise replica of the Great Pyramid of Giza."

"Of course. My mistake."

"Well, yes, but you oughtn't to concern yourself with it. A perfectly comprehensible misconception."

"Doctor, my point was—"

"Oh, how lovely for you, it's been a while since you've had one of those."

" . . . my _point_ was, isn't the camouflage circuit supposed to make the TARDIS inconspicuous?"

"What?" Indignation.

"Well, that is more or less what it says on the tin. Camouflage circuit. Circuit for camouflage."

"Says on the— _says on the—_ Peri, if you must live in an uninspired, unsurprising universe where everything performs merely the single plebian function that some plodding programmer planned for it, then I can hardly stop you. But I can, and do, pity you. Now, come along."

Along their mental link, however, he sends, _—Just a bit lacking in subtlety, are we?—_

Says the entity wearing _that_ as his outermost casing.

Well, he gets the point, at least.

Besides, this is actually rather fun. The thieves who try to make off with her gold-plated capstone in a few hours, the hapless reporter who sees them leave—her thief's spluttering reaction on the next planet, when she manifests as an _even larger_ pyramid—

Yes, he definitely gets the point. Her chameleon circuit will be _properly_ fixed very shortly. He will claim that he preferred her blue and it was all his idea.

She watches fondly, if with a bit of amusement, as her thief and their human slog off through the knee-deep snow.


End file.
